NOTE: every personal situation and wrong cannot be viewed through the same lens so please keep this in mind. You also might require professional help and years to move through some of the emotions you’re carrying. Nothing is a quick fix, prescription or one size fits all. You must figure out what works for you as an individual.

Resentment is a tough thing to move through because it usually involves a situation or experience where you are wronged or mistreated by another person. Resentment is also a mix of emotions like anger, sadness, a lot of hard feelings, sometimes embarrassment, and frustration to name a few. It’s a lot. It can become very overwhelming and take up a lot of mental real estate leading to overthinking, feelings of regret, inadequacy, and avoidance. For a lot of people (including myself), it can lead to feelings of anger that you really wish weren’t there, don’t want to be there, but also aren’t quite sure how to move through.

One of the things that kept coming up when I was reading about resentment and how to deal with it was trying to practice forgiveness and gratitude. Yeah… my first reaction was the same…I need to forgive a total shithead?… I didn’t do anything wrong. But then some of the authors and studies started pointing to how holding onto resentment was actually doing long-term damage to my physical health, on top of my mental and emotional health. One article even stated, “Resentment is like you drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”.

The studies pointed to effects on blood pressure, lung health, longevity, chronic pain, and the immune system. In one study, Harvard University scientists found that in healthy people, simply recalling an angry experience from their past caused a six-hour dip in levels of the antibody immunoglobulin the cells’ first line of defense against infection [source Everday Health - linked below]. In another, they linked outbursts of anger to increase heart attack risk, and how holding grudges leads to more inflammation and an increase in the stress hormone cortisol.

If you want to read some of the articles or go more in-depth the podcast episode is linked here - but one of my main takeaways from this is - “Is this worth my cortisol?” - Is me holding this grudge, overthinking about this, and carrying this resentment worth the inflammation and long term impact on my body?

Articles & Studies referenced on the podcast and in this article for further reading.

• How to Let Go of Lingering Resentment and Achieve Peace of Mind, According to Mental-Health Experts

• Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

• Forgiveness Your health Depends on it - john Hopkins

• What Does Holding A Grudge Do To your health

• Signs of Resentment webMD

• Harvard study on anger, Heart Attacks & Strokes

• As above, so below’ examining the interplay between emotion and the immune system

• Mood & Immunity