Identifying & Healing Codependency

I recorded a podcast episode on Codependency and wanted to share the articles and studies from where I got a lot of the information for it with you. If you wanted to listen to the episode you can here ↓

Podcast Episode

This episode has some prompts and questions as well as goes into the signs of codependency. Some of these things include: always putting others’ needs and desires over your own, excessive caretaking, allowing your joy and mood to be dictated by other people in your life, and really being more concerned/ preoccupied with other people over yourself, happiness, and well-being. It also turns out that individuals who are in the helping professions (such as nurses) have more signs of codependency (roughly one-third more) than others.

The articles are all linked below in case you want to jump down there.

Codependency is basically when you put others’ desires before your own needs and wants. It can show up in our relationships (which is probably where most of us have heard this) but after a lot of reading, I’m seeing how it shows up for me at work, in my career, in friendships, and especially social media. You don’t have to be in a relationship to have signs or characteristics of codependency, it turns out the majority of people who have experienced trauma and childhood traumas (even being a family that got divorced, fought a lot, or grew up in homes with addiction can deal with this as well). Remember trauma can happen to anyone and we all process trauma differently.

Some of the signs of Codependency are:

Difficulty identifying and expressing your feelings
Difficulty making decisions in your relationships
Looking for other people’s acceptance and approval of you over your own morals & identity
Having poor self-esteem
Not trusting your own intuition or not listening to yourself.
Fears of abandonment
Always looking for approval of validation from other sources
You Think you are responsible for everyone, their issues, and problems, and try to fix everyone else before arriving for yourself
Trouble adjusting to change
Overextending yourself all the time

According to CODA.org, there are patterns and characteristics of codependence: denial patterns, low self-esteem patterns, control patterns, avoidance patterns, and compliance patterns. It also turns out that some of the characteristics include things like avoiding arguments, being worried about other people’s view of you, having difficulty taking compliments, having a lot of things going on at once, and having trouble saying NO. Again these things don’t mean you are co-dependent and only a qualified/trained professional can help you with a diagnosis and not everyone dealing with these symptoms is codependent. On now that we cleared that up

How Do you Self-Care for Codependency??

Therapy
Spending Time Alone and Developing Your relationship with yourself. Asking yourself what you truly want, finding out what brings you joy, and finding the balance between the time you spend with yourself and others.
Have regular self-care routines and rituals
Get your own hobbies and interests
Figure out what you like and what you don’t like
Prioritize yourself and your needs, and learn to say no when you are burnt out, need rest, or are feeling overwhelmed
Address issues with substance or alcohol abuse
Remember the things that brought you joy
Keep a Journal
Stop enabling and trying to fix others
Identify when you become obsessed with someone, or something - take an inventory and ask yourself why?
Work on your Self Esteem